The Future Freaks Me Out
by socioNycto
Summary: Nothing amazing ever happens in Twilight Town. When Roxas' brother leaves, it's normal. When he starts hearing voices, it's ordinary. When a red head maniac barrels through on a vespa and smacks him in the face with a guitar...well... [FLCL crossover]
1. Ordinary

**Title: **The Future Freaks Me Out

**Genre: **A serious FLCL crossover (which means it's not crack!fic). Or, you know, as serious as you can get with these two universes competing for attention.

**Disclaimer:** Neither Kingdom Hearts nor the mind-fuckery that is FLCL belong to me. Those rights go to Square Enix and Gainax respectively.

**Warnings:** Necessary screwing with the plot to make this work. Naota!Roxas, slash jokes, and language.

Mind racing fast, I can do no wrong. Guess who's back with a brand-new song? That's right, kids, it's Two For Three. Place your bids, 'cause it's time to sing!

Stupid made-up lyrics aside, a girl named Amagumo deserves a mention for reading this over for me. Alright, let's start the show!

* * *

_Nothing amazing ever happens here. _

Tuesday, August fourteenth. Roxas drew his knees up to his chest on the dusty green couch, letting his right arm drape over them at what appeared to be an awkward angle. He made no attempt to reposition it, however, choosing instead to stare vacantly at the slowly melting ice cream clutched in the hand attached to it. Droplets of blue gathered and fell, gathered and fell, drumming a steady (if slow) beat into the floor.

"Dude, you gonna eat that?"

Enter Sora. His best friend since grade school had a bad habit of intruding on his alone time.

"Just take the stupid thing."

Roxas stood up and, after brushing imaginary dust off his clothing, forced the ice cream into Sora's hands. Last one of the summer, probably, but…all of a sudden, the cloying sweetness was just too much for him. He slipped out the door without another word, leaving the boy behind. Sora shrugged to himself and took Roxas' spot on the overstuffed couch, downing the sea-salt in just a few seconds. After suffering the severe brain-freezing consequences, he stared at the alleyway through which his friend had disappeared.

"Why is Roxas always so weird?"

_The tram station clock tower looms over everything, its shadow swiveling as if the hour hand from its face had been stolen, expanded, and set into the ground with the express purpose of marking time. It's…ominous at the best of times._

Wild whistling sounds filled his ears as he perched on the cold stone ledge, barely leaning into the wind. The air that rushed around his features and pushed his hair back at odd angles was only faintly warmer than the iciness beneath him, and twice as violent. How such a coldness could exist amongst the blinding heat of fading summertime in Twilight Town was beyond Roxas, yet he continued to ponder the logic behind it as if it were the world's only riddle. 

"What're you doing?" Ugh...that voice. He _knew_ that voice.

"Homework," Roxas lied, refusing to face the girl behind him.

"Then why don't you do it at home?"

"'Cause that's not cool." The girl fell silent, and for a moment Roxas allowed himself to believe she had run off. He relaxed again, staring out at the section of town covered in the clock tower's shadow— only to be interrupted as two arms wrapped around his waist and tugged him backwards, not at all gently. He slid deftly off the wall and fell to the stone ground, his landing cushioned by the girl underneath him.

"That hurt, Roxie," she said, smiling at him coyly. "Apologize."

Her idea of an apology was not something he liked to contemplate. He didn't even bother arguing against her, it was just too tiring.

"Tifa...why do you do this?"

"If I don't do it, I'll overflow." She said it so matter-of-factly, as if it were a completely normal and relevant answer.

"What would happen then?"

"I don't know..."

Annoyed, Roxas wrenched himself loose from her suffocating grasp, rolling a few feet across the ground. He stood up and started off down the path to Station Heights. Loud footsteps bounced off the walls, ringing in his ears as he escaped the girl, her complex, and the oppressive shadow of the clock tower.

Tifa rolled over onto her side to watch him leave.

"...probably something amazing..."

_My older brother Leon left for Hollow Bastion last year to be a pro Struggler. Ever since then, his old girlfriend has been pawing me over, looking for a replacement. _

_There was this postcard the other day... it was a picture of Leon and some brunette named Aerith kissing. Tifa is irritating sometimes, but. She's still a nice girl. I don't have the heart to tell her. _

_As for the sky? It never changes. Sometimes the warm colors are soothing, others it seems as though a sadist gutted some poor animal and splashed its remains across town. _

He wandered haphazardly through Twilight Town's back alleys, trusting his familiarity with the buildings around him to bring him home again later. Crossing his arms behind his head, Roxas traveled on, glaring derisively at the bloody clouds. The gesture was strange to him, and he wasn't quite sure why he did it other than it seemed…comforting (for lack of a better word), and quite possibly nostalgic. Which was completely creepy.

Filing the entire train of thought away for future consideration, he continued on.

"What about this one, Zexy?"

A voice sounded to his left, jumping out of the russet brick wall and not offering a single clue as to its owner. Roxas peered quizzically in its direction, but couldn't see the human attached to it. He chose to ignore it completely, crediting the voice either to delusions or the wind.

"Don't call me that. His scent is certainly one of a worthy candidate. However…in the end, you know the final decision is not mine to make."

This voice was new and quiet and maybe the wall was a hologram or something and the people talking were standing behind it. Yeah, that was it. To prove his own point, Roxas ran headfirst into the bricks, fully expecting to sail right through them. He was sorely disappointed. Three seconds later, after getting back on his feet, he stormed off to nowhere in particular. Unsurprisingly, the voices followed him.

"You stay here and watch the boy. I'm going to go get the boss."

"But I don't _want _to watch Blondie! He's boring. I wanna go with you..."

"Demyx. Be reasonable."

"Hmff. Fine. You go have fun with that stupid pyro, and I'll just be here. Wasting away."

What was up with these two, anyway? Even if they were both in his head, they were annoying. Roxas clamped his hands over his ears and continued walking.

"Right. I'll be back in a minute. Don't die." He tore open a portal and teleported away.

"Don't die! Sound advice from Bookmaster, master of books. Don't die. Feh." Mashing a pair of clunky headphones around his head, Demyx continued to tail Roxas for a while, but he quickly got bored. He veered off course and set out to explore the town. What harm could come from leaving the runt alone for a few minutes, anyway?

_- _

_- _

_- _

"Yo, Zexy! What's up, man?"

"Don't call me that," Zexion snapped from force of habit. "Sorry. I would just prefer it if you didn't refer to me so diminutively...sir."

"Yeah? Well I'd prefer it if I did. Funny how that works." The man's superior picked absently at a midnight-blue bass-- he couldn't play it, but he didn't have to. One finger slipped to the pull chord attached to the side and Zexion visibly stiffened.

"The- the thing is, sir, that Demyx and I have found what we believe to be a worthy candidate. He's around fifteen--"

"And his N.O. portal?"

He (rather cautiously) held out a small notebook filled with his own neat handwriting. "See for yourself."

The room was silent for a full thirty seconds as his boss, looking rather serious, flipped through the notes.

"Zexion?"

"Yes?"

"Why don't you and Demyx take a few weeks off? Go on a romantic cruise or something; you two really haven't had much time to yourselves lately."

"Sir? What are you-- are you okay?"

"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine. I'm great. This is great!"

"Good, because I _hasten_ to remind you that Demyx and I are not now, nor have we ever been--"

"Aw, shut it. Where does this kid live, anyway?"

"It's on the first page, sir. If you don't mind..." Zexion gestured toward the door.

"Sure, sure. See you in a few weeks, man." He stood up as Zexion left, flipping the notebook back to page one. " Twilight Town, hm?"

Axel stuffed the notes in the pocket of his sleeveless red riding jacket. He grabbed his blue guitar in one gloved hand and with one quick motioned summoned a portal with the other. A grin.

"Xemnas, your ass is mine."

-

-

-

Roxas wandered indignantly down one of Twilight Town's many empty roads; everyone was either at work or at school this time of day.

_The adults got all excited when the new plant was put in. Medical Mechanica'll bring this town to life, they said, we'll get all kinds of commerce and jobs and visitors...but I don't see how that's possible. No one ever goes in that building, and no one ever comes out. All it ever does as it towers over us all is gush out hazy red steam to cover the sun, intensifying the dusk by a thousand. It's almost scary, sometimes, how concentrated the twilight can get when that steam pours out._

He was, admittedly, a bit bored now that the voices had gone and left him all alone. They were annoying, yes, but at least they were company. Even having Tifa come and test his patience would be--

"I got you a soda, Roxie..." her voice carried softly from behind him, and he felt a skinny aluminum can being pressed into his right hand. Without so much as glancing at it, he could tell what it was. Speak of the devil.

He tapped the bright yellow lemon graphic on its side. "You know I don't like the sour stuff. And you already drank half of it!"

"So?" Tifa continued walking on ahead of him while he just stood there, staring at the brightly colored soft drink. For some reason...

_Screw it. She deserves to know, and maybe she'll lay off me if she does._

"You know what?" Roxas tossed the soda aside. It bounced off the ground, spewing lemon soft-drink onto his tennis shoes. "My brother, in Hollow Bastion?"

Tifa froze.

"He sent me a postcard the other day. He's got a new--" The buzzing of a far-away engine distracted him for a moment, and he quickly lost his courage. "...A new...um, struggle bat. It's really cool..."

The buzzing was getting closer, and it suddenly occurred to Roxas that both he and the brunette in front of him were standing almost exactly in the center of the road. He started edging slightly to the right.

"Oh. Does he? I bet he loves it."

"Yeah." Roxas shifted uncomfortably. "It sounded like...sounded like he did."

It didn't sound like a car, or even a motorcycle, and it was gnawing at him that he couldn't figure out what it was. Just for a second, he turned around and squinted...

A brazen red-haired maniac was speeding toward them on a bright yellow vespa, brandishing a blue guitar much like a jouster would his lance. Roxas froze, his eyes going wide as the crazy man let out a karate yell and swung his guitar around above his head--

**"HaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAIII-YAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" **

**Thud. **

He flew back several yards and cracked his head against the pavement. Roxas promptly blacked out.

_Nothing amazing ever happens here…_

* * *

I'm estimating somewhere around seven chapters. Feel free to review (concrit is a l w a y s appreciated), and sorry about the cliffhanger. Amagumo's reading over chapter two right now, so expect it in a few days. 

Peace, yo.


	2. The Aftermath

**Title: **The Future Freaks Me Out 

**Genre: **A serious FLCL crossover (which means it's not crack!fic). Or, you know, as serious as you can get with these two universes competing for attention.

**Disclaimer:** Neither Kingdom Hearts nor the mind-fuckery that is FLCL belong to me. Those rights go to Square Enix and Gainax respectively.

**Warnings:** This chapter's more dialogue than description. Not sure if that counts as a warning, but...eh. Oh, and slash jokes.

Writer girl, writer girl, I wrote this fic for you. Writer girl, writer girl, what's an author to do?

My beta seems to have forgotten about her job and not to be arrogant but she's not necessary anyway. LET THE FIC COMMENSE. 

* * *

Zexion, after five minutes' ranting, ten minutes' aimless wandering, and five minutes of pacing back and forth cursing, finally managed to track down Demyx's scent. The blond was sitting on top of a low brick house, staring absently out into the hazy red smoke and completely ignoring his responsibilities.

"May I ask what you're doing?" Demyx leant backwards to stare at him, and though he was surprised at first, he grinned.

"Sure. What's it look like? Nuthin'. Just watching the sky." He tilted his head back to get a better-- if upside down-- view of Zexion's face. "It's sort of romantic, you think?" Zexion glanced at the sky in irritation, feeling obliged to give some sort of answer.

"Yes, yes," he said dismissively, "it's beautiful. Where's the boy?"

"Pedophile."

"_Demyx_."

"Uh, I don't know."

"You don't know," Zexion deadpanned. He had found that, around Demyx, his flat disbelief gland quickly got trigger-happy.

"I got bored, okay! All I ever did was tell you and Axel that I wasn't cut out for this job, and what did you do? You left me alone and expected me to do well! I swear, for all your book-smarts, Zexy, you can be such an idiot sometimes."

Zexion, used to such half-hearted insults, ignored this. Instead, he glanced around the town, looking for any sign of the kid they were supposed to be tracking. "You know what'll happen when Axel finds him, right?" he asked.

"Something bad?"

He was getting ready to snarl an answer, but stopped when he caught a flash of yellow in his left hand peripheral. It was speeding down a mostly empty highway and swinging a certain blue Rickenbacker bass like a lasso.

Zexion cursed again, enunciating each syllable of the dirty words perfectly. "We're leaving, Demyx." With that, he grabbed the blond's upper arm and tore open a portal as quickly as he could. Why did Axel always insist on being so damn violent?

-

-

-

"Is he...dead?" Axel and Tifa leant over the body of the formerly conscious Roxas, both looking rather confused.

"I don't think so."

"How do we find out for sure?" Tifa asked, carefully poking the side of her friend's head. He looked pretty dead to her. Axel, not so sure, slowly knelt down next to him and put his mouth close to Roxas' ear.

"HEY BUDDY," he screamed, "YOUR GIRLFRIEND HERE IS KNOCKED UP!!"

Said 'girlfriend' shrieked. "_What_?!"

Roxas sneezed.

"See? He is too alive!"

"But I haven't had sex with Roxie, he's still a minor! And Leon's not, but he's been gone-- wait, how would you even know?"

"Oops, he's stopped breathing. Girl! Give him mouth-to-mouth!"

"I don't look pregnant, do I?"

"What are you doing, woman? I need this guy's head to work!"

"It's not nice to insult people like that!"

"Fine, I'll do it." With that, Axel threw his hands in the air and-- "COME BACK TO LIFE!!"--proceeded to give the worst CPR in the history of Twilight Town. He just sort of sat there, not moving, his mouth over Roxas', and tried to remember what that handbooks said you were supposed to do next. Of course, his lackeys chose this exact moment to show up.

Zexion and Demyx teleported into the scene, saw their superior's position, and nearly fell over. Once they regained their footing, that's when the fireworks started.

"Sir! What in heavens' name are you doing?"

"Finally getting some action, eh, Axel?"

"Demyx, it's a child."

"Not really. He's what, sixteen?" For some reason, he was gesturing wildly with his hands, as if to portray the number with interpretive dance. "And Axel's only a hundred somethin'. Not much, see?"

Axel felt the need to interject. "Excuse me," he said, pulling away from Roxas, "but I'm trying to save a life here."

Another sneeze escaped the center of everyone's attention as he shakily sat up, clutching his forehead in agony. He had just been having the nicest dream involving a walrus and a carpenter and world where everyone spoke in couplets, and then a fish jumped out of the imaginary water and smacked him across the mouth. What a rude awakening. And now these people were _yelling_...his head felt like someone had bashed his face in with a guitar.

Quickly, he ran a check to see if his limbs were still useable. Excepting his forehead, everything seemed fine.

"Alright, he's alive. But..." Axel grabbed the Rickenbacker's neck. "Nothing's coming out. Should I hit him again, Zexy?"

"NO!!"

Tifa finally came to her senses. She jumped forward and threw her arms around Roxas. "You said yourself you needed him alive. If you hit him again, you could actually kill him!"

There was a brief scuffle as Roxas fought valiantly (given his condition) to escape the girl's arms. As soon as he found himself free, he stood up and took off running-- straight into Zexion and Demyx.

"Sorry, kid, but we need that portal in your head."

"My...what? What did you people do to me?"

Axel's voice floated over to them. "CPR...what'd you expect? You just up and passed out on the ground. It was lucky I happened to be passing by, really." Bored, he was gathering up his guitar and sauntering back to his vespa.

"CPR...? But you're a...a..." Roxas spat on the ground and rubbed his mouth with his sleeve. "Wait, where are you going?"

"YOU ARE USELESS!!" Axel stuck out his tongue as he gunned the throttle. It wasn't long before he, swerving and righting himself again and again, was completely out of sight, though the engine's buzzing remained behind a moment longer.

Silence fell over the four left standing as they stared after the maniac. In the distance, Medical Mechanica's flickering outpour of steam shuddered to a halt, and the last wisps of red vapor were fading away before Roxas seemed to realize what had just taken place.

"He hit me!" he gasped, throwing his hands up to his forehead. "With-- with a _guitar_!" The other three shifted uncomfortably. "And then he--" here, he gagged, "--_kissed_...ugh...that--"

"Yes, that's what appears to have happened. Though you may not like it, I need to inform both you and your female friend that this was completely necessary--"

"--pervert! That sick pervert!! How old is he, anyway?"

Demyx leant forward to whisper something to his partner, and Zexion returned the gesture. Before long, they were both in a heated, whispered debate complete with overdone gestures and the stamping of feet. Altogether, it looked something like an overdone, soap operatic argument displayed on a muted television, and Tifa watched on in interest. Roxas was still busy gagging.

"Fine! Don't tell him! But if he ends up dead, I'm blaming you!" Demyx shouted, crossing his arms and teleporting off in anger.

"Hey, Roxie…" Tifa murmured, enthralled, "do you think it was a lover's quarrel?" Roxas paused for a moment and stared at her. Zexion did the same.

"Excuse me--" he began, but didn't get the chance to finish.

"Who are you people? What the hell do you want me for?!" Roxas ranted, stomping up to him.

"I'm sorry, child--"

"Child? It's Roxas!! R, o, x-a-s!!"

"--but there really isn't much I can tell you. Everything will be revealed soon enough, so don't worry."

"Don't worry? Don't _worry_?! What kind of cryptic--"

"I believe that's what I said, yes. Listen, Demyx and I will be…around. If Axel ever gets to be too much, just ask for help."

"You mean that psycho bastard's coming back?"

Zexion splayed his palms out in front of him in a helpless motion. "I can say no more."

With a curt nod, he turned his back to Roxas and Tifa and slashed his hand through the air in front of him. A shadowy curtain rose from the ground, and without flinching he strode forward and into the darkness, as if walking into an inter-dimensional vortex were a perfectly ordinary and mundane task. Seconds later, he was gone.

Tifa and Roxas glanced at each other. They said a few awkward goodbyes, and she continued down the street the way she had been headed before the crash. Roxas, with one final, wary stare to direction in which the bright yellow vespa had disappeared, started home.

What a strange day.

-

-

-

Roxas sat alone in his room, staring at his forehead in the mirror. He had just woken up from the brief nap the day's traumatizing events demanded, and hadn't noticed anything wrong until he happened to catch sight of something strange protruding from his tousled brown hair. Ten minutes later and he was still gaping in confusion at the...horn-like...column of flesh sticking out of his forehead. He twisted his head around to see it from a different angle.

"Maybe I can just..." He raised his hand and pushed down on the horn: to his surprise it easily shrunk back into his head. "Huh." His reflection in the mirror looked normal again. He gave himself a grin and lurched forward as the horn shot back out.

Hissing in pain, he glanced around for a hat or something-- then realized that the only hat he owned was part of his brother's old Struggle uniform. Roxas swore.

_I'm not very good. Leon...was the best in the city. We all looked up to him, every single one of us. Here's a guy, we thought, that's going to make something of himself. He's going to grow up and be discovered, and move far away from this stupid place._

_Everyone was so proud of him when he left._

_I mean, it's not like anything amazing ever happens here._

* * *

Shorter chapter this time. Don't worry, it's not a trend. Next one'll be longer.

So, I'd like to thank my many and marvelous reviewers for spending their time with me. The both of you should be proud of yourselves.


	3. Dinner With a Psycho

**Title: **The Future Freaks Me Out

**Genre: **A serious FLCL crossover (which means it's not crack!fic). Or, you know, as serious as you can get with these two universes competing for attention.

**Disclaimer:** Neither Kingdom Hearts nor the mind-fuckery that is FLCL belong to me. Those rights go to Square Enix and Gainax respectively.

**Warnings:** Echi, Rokusasu echi!! Heh...nah, nothing big in this one.

Do you have the time to read everything I write?

All I can say is…my apologies. This chapter was held up by a number of things, all of which are, by a strange coincidence, both boring and none of your business. Anyway, I can't promise it won't happen again, because, well, I just can't, but I'll have you know that this is too much fun for me to just give up on. So…on with the story!!

* * *

"That looks...bizarre."

Roxas scowled.

Wednesday, August fifteenth. Sixth period lunch. He was chewing on a ham and cheese sandwich, absently listening to Sora, Hayner, and Pence chatter aimlessly while Olette sat on the desk next to him, making the occasional snide remark about the large bandage on his forehead. Of course the vespa incident had to happen just around twelve hours before the first day of school. Would the world really have it any other way?

"You're hiding something, right?"

_I hate her._

"Quit being stupid, Olette. I told you guys already, I fell down the stairs."

She smiled like a predator, a sprawling grin that looked entirely wrong when surrounded by her small face. It was altogether creepy, and Roxas found himself grateful that Sora chose this moment to scream bloody murder.

"No!! My super-spicy curry's missing!!" The boy was pawing through his green backpack, searching desperately for any sign of his food.

"Hm…super-spicy..." Pence brought his hand to his chin in his classic thinking pose. He had always wanted to be a famous detective, and prided himself on acting the part. "Hey, you know that girl in lunch five who always brings the three alarm chili?"

"Naminé?" Hayner offered.

"Yeah, that's her name. I heard that someone stole it yesterday, and some other kids say they saw a weird guy with spiky red hair running around just before the bell rang."

"Think that same guy stole my curry?"

"Seems likely. In the meantime, here…" Pence tossed Sora a few munny. "Go buy something at the counter."

_  
I don't think I ever spent time with Tifa outside of formalities; she was my brother's girlfriend, I was her boyfriend's brother, and we occasionally said hi if we saw each other around town. When she came over, though, she would cook for us (if only because Dad sure as hell didn't know how) and always made something spicy._

_For a week after Leon left, nothing changed...even if everything else did. I liked that._

"You know," smirked Hayner, "people've been saying he's not a guy at all, but an evil monster from beyond the stars!"

Roxas choked on his sandwich. "Beyond…the stars? You mean like an alien?"

"An evil alien! The Vespa Alien!"

"Vespa…doesn't that mean wasp? _That's_ bizarre," commented Olette.

"Nah, Hayner, you're getting it all wrong," Sora said, dropping his new lunch tray on his desk. It was filled to overflow with limp-looking lasagna and dry breadsticks. "He's called The Vespa Demon, not alien. He rides around on one of those yellow and black mod bikes, and- - and when he _stings_ it leaves a mark that shows you've been doing bad things and it never goes away!"

"Stings…?"

"What kind of bad things?"

Sora looked thoughtful for a moment. "I dunno, something perverted I guess."

"Perverted?!"

Olette grinned again, and Roxas had to suppress a shudder. "So...what's behind the band-aid?"

His hand instinctively went to his forehead, briefly grazing the large white bandage before he tried to pass the gesture off by sweeping some hair behind his ear. "Noth—nothing..." he mumbled near-incoherantly.

Pence leaned forward. "It's the Vespa Demon's mark, isn't it?"

"Really?"

"Pervert! He's a pervert!"

"Cut it out, Sora!"

"PERVERT!!"

-

-

-

He really didn't feel like going home today. "Sora…" he groaned, leaning back against a locker as they waited for Hayner to finish stuffing his pack with books he wouldn't read. Pence was staying after school today, so it was just the three of them. Olette always rode home in her father's assistant's limo.

Sora blinked. "What is it, Mr Pervert?"

Roxas grimaced. "Nothing." He felt his forehead twitch.

"C'mon, losers! Let's get out of here!" Hayner shouted, one arm in the air as he slung his pack over the other shoulder. They complied.

-

-

-

"…Roxas! Dinner!!"

His headphones pressed tighter against his ears.

"It's gonna get cold!"

He squinted his eyes shut and, in a further effort to block out his father's rough voice, attempted to sing along with a particularly stupid song by a garage band exactly three people had heard of.

"**ROXAS STRIFE, YOU GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE AND** **EAT**"

Roxas sniffed indignantly, slid the headphones off and slammed the pause button on his CD player. Thus his kitchen adventure began.

He hesitated at the door, but after a moment he shoved it open.

**Creeeeeeaak. **

**"YOU?!!"**

"Hey, it's Head-No-Good Boy!" Axel greeted with a casual grin, as if the kid staring and pointing at him was not one he had previously smacked in the face with a guitar. He would have waved, but his hands were completely occupied trying to eat spaghetti with a homemade pair of chopsticks.

"You two are…acquainted?" His father asked, chin caught in his hand. He almost looked like Pence, except for the spiky blonde hair.

"Oh, yeah," the freak said, "me and Head-No-Good Boy go way back. Like, _way_ back."

"LIES!!"

"We first met in the fifth grade…"

"LIAR!!"

"Cloud!" his granddad yelled, "Control your child!"

Roxas' father muttered into his soda. "Stupid old bastard…can't tell me what to do…not even my real dad…"

"What was that?"

"Nothing, _Cid_…" Cloud hissed.

"…and ever since then, we've been best buddies! Man," Axel said tearfully, "me and Head-No-Good-Boy…we've been through so much…"

"Shut the hell up!"

"It's just that my hearing's not as good as it was, and I coulda sworn I heard you call me 'stupid old bastard'—"

"Dad, what is this bastard doing here?!"

"This _bastard_ is the new hired help, young man!"

"Call me bastard one more time, Cloud, and I am gonna kill you!!"

"I needed a place to stay, and they said I could earn my keep cooking, cleaning, doing odd jobs…you know, _personal_ services…"

"I'm gonna KILL YOU!!!" With that, Roxas leapt across the table, heading straight for Axel's jugular.

Needless to say, a brief scuffle ensued, the outcome being Cloud hefting Roxas over his left shoulder and forcing the fuming kid back to his own seat.

"Now," he said, "can we please have some civilized conversation?"

"How about you tell me what this psycho's doing here?" Roxas said moodily.

"I told you—"

"I'll tell him." Axel stood on his chair, both the spaghetti and chopsticks having mysteriously vanished. He had drawn his jacket around himself dramatically, and his red hair seemed to swish forward in an ominous and completely inexplicable wind.

"I…am a rounin. A wandering, masterless samurai."

Roxas nearly fell out of his chair.

* * *

...And that's where this chapter ends. Sorry it's so short, but you can go ahead and relax about the next one because it's almost done.

NB: In case anyone's confused, Cloud is Roxas' dad and Cid is his grandfather. And Axel is a psycho.

Reviews are appreciated!!


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